Michelle Here.

I’m trying to think of something to say, without sounding like a broken record……life here is pretty boring, and that’s exactly how we want it.      Michael continues to adjust well, and Alex is still taking on his new ‘big brother’ role and his world being rocked, with the as much grace as a two year old is capable of.

With the quantity of days I have been taking care of the two boys by myself increases, so has my knowledge, and overall ease of the days.

I am finding that keeping things uneventful, unemotional (as in tantrums), and even-keel is my only goal for the day.    If, by the end of the day, I’ve accomplished that, I consider it a success.    Since Alex has become a big brother, I have noticed that his emotions have become more intense…….when he is happy, he is more happy, and he is frustrated, he is more frustrated.    I have come to realize  the relationship between  Alex and me is the pinnacle of whether we all have good days, or bad days.    Alex knows how to push my buttons.   He’s a really, really smart kid.    That will some day work in my favor.   Right now, I keep reminding myself of that ‘someday’!     He knows how to push his boundaries, and he knows how to push the boundaries with his mama.    I’ve found that if I get upset, or try to control him, things go South very quickly.   That leads to a tailspin with little brother, and the balance of the entire house shifts (so if you drive by our house one day, and see it shifted downward, just keep driving….you do not want to know!)     To curb this, I’ve  been practicing my ‘stay calm, breathe deeply’ skill.    It is working most of the time with big brother.    When I start to find myself losing patience, I turn it around, and look at the world through his eyes.  I speak to him through his point of view.    This has helped, and  therefore, the entire day can go really, really well.    I’ve found that if I speak to him as if he has control and is making his own decisions, life is smooth.    If I try to dictate…..no way, no go.   Tantrums.  Whining.  Pushing Little Bro.      So……..I’m off to practice more breathing exercises to prepare myself  for the next button-pushing event.

Enjoy the photos.

Michelle Here.

I’m often technologically challenged, and this is yet another example of it.    I posted pictures, and don’t know how to add the text….so here’s a separate post, with text.

Things are falling into place, and we are getting into a routine.    That is helping all of us, and it feels really good.

We have also gotten together with two different playgroups in the last week.    One was with the Korean Momma’s from the Rockford area.   They had a playdate about 45 minutes away, so Alex, Michael, and I took a road trip to see our friends.   This was the first outing that I had with two boys, and just me.    I was exhausted by the time we got home, but we had a great time;  I’m glad we went.    It definately is different with two kiddos.    On top of that, I was holding Michael more than what we will be in the future, because, well, that’s what he wanted.    He took everything in stride, and did great on his first outing.    He watched everyone, and watched the kids play in the wading pool.   He feel asleep in my arms, and I was able to transfer him over to the stroller to continue his nap……something I’ve never been able to do with Alex.    So, it was a successful trip, and can’t wait to see everyone again.

We also attended a picnic with the Madison area Korean Adoptive Families, and had a great time there as well.    It was man-on-man defense for that outing, because all 4 of us got to go.    We have a great group of friends, and we’re so glad we are able to surround ourselves with such awesome, supportive, been-there-done-that people.

So….that wraps up our week.   Enjoy the photos!

Michelle Here.

I’m sure you’re not surprised by the title of this post, and in fact, it’s no secret that two boys living under one roof, 18 months apart in age, will lead to a lot of action.     Well, weeks ago, I logically knew that.    Now I’m LIVING it!

There seems to never be a dull moment around here, and we’re all settling into our new balance after adding one more little guy into the Wahe mix.    Alex has tested his boundaries, showed his love, had unbelievable mood swings, and been more nurturing than I have ever seen him.     Stefan and I are getting better at keeping a balance of order and happiness and individualism……some minutes are better than others!          A few times, I have had the luxury of only taking care of ONE boy while the other has been out playing with Daddy or Grandparents.     I find myself saying, “One boy is soooo much easier than two!”    I never would have admitted that when only Alex was in the family!

Michael is continuing to adjust very well.    He’s really easy-going, goes to sleep relatively easily, has never turned down food, and is learning how to stand up to his big brother.    We all laugh, because we think that some day Michael will be bigger than Alex, so Alex better watch out    Michael will someday be The Winner of  the wrestling matches, which have already happened numerous times in the middle of our living room floor!

Here are some pics.    I haven’t taken many since Michael got home.    Because, well…..frankly, I’ve been too busy watching two boys go in 15 different directions at the same time.    But here’s to grabbing the camera, at least a few times in the last week.

Mr. Handsome.

My Little Man.

Brotherly love. Maybe.

If we "contain" them enough, we can get a good picture of the two of them together.

My little Giggler

I see this look at least a hundred times a day.

Always in Constant Motion.

Enjoying the back deck.

Let's Eat!

I never thought I'd find a chip I didn't like.....this is one of them....Shrimp crispy chips from our flight....A. and M. loved them.

Stefan attempting to show M. the benefit of being a Yankees fan.

Big Bro teaching Little Bro how to water the plants.

M. receiving another lesson in watering plants, with the instructor in his underwear.It's hard to take a boy seriously when he's barking an order out to you, while in his underwear.

Today I had to go back to work. Here is what I missed about being home:

1. Alex’s Non-Stop Energy: If you ever thought Michelle keep me on the move, it only pails in comparison to trying to keep up with Alex. Where as it may be tiring, the activities and conversations he is capable both entertain and amaze me.

2. Michael’s Smiles: The transition these children endure is a traumatic one that is just one of the steps on a life-long journey. For Michael to be able to open his eyes in the morning and great Michael and I with a smile is a very precious thing to me.

3. Michelle: Marriage and parenting is a partnership. After spending 21 odd straight days traveling, recovering and parenting together has brought me even closer to Michelle. I doubt that they will be able to finish my sentences for me at work.

Other things I will miss will include napping with Michael and Alex, having lunch around the kitchen table, a sense of accompishment in getting those small projects done around the house and just being able to enjoy every moment with my family.

Over the years I will have many chances to take time off work to enjoy my family. I will love every moment of it!

Michelle Here.

Wow!   I can’t believe we’ve had Michael for over a week already.

Things are continuing to go well.    He’s adjusting well.    He is finding comfort in us,  and that makes us feel really, really good!     He’s still transitioning into his new life, but all things considered, he’s an amazing little boy.

Alex is settling into his new role and his new brother.    There were a few days that were challenging for all of us, and each day is getting better.   The challenging days started a few days after we got home.    I think Alex realized the honeymoon was over, and little brother turned from a Novelty into an Imposter.    We’ve been spending a fair amount of one-on-one time with him, and I think that’s making a difference.     We also have institutued what I call the  “Positive Parenting” method   (we also tried the “Rule Enforcement” and “Referee” methods of parenting, and I bet you can guess how far that got us).    We are catching him doing things right, and not wrong.    He’s taking well to the positive reinforcement.     Any little thing we see him doing in a positive way, we are reinforcing with lots of praise.    I think after awhile, it will become second nature, and we can lay off on the constant reinforcing, and bring it down to a normal level.    He does have his moments of pushing our buttons, and pushing his boundaries, but they have become fewer and fewer.     We’ll see how it goes when Stefan goes back to work, and I’m playing 1-on-2 defense.

Michael’s personality is really showing.   He is walking around the house, exploring, and playing with all the toys.    He’ll break out in a belly laugh often.    He often smiles, looks up at us, and starts to giggle.    He loves music and will do  a toddler form of break-dancing to just about any type of music.

Here’s a side note to parents who are expecting their travel call and going to Korea:   Michael had/has stranger anxiety.    We met with him 4 times (2 times for our first trip in April, and 2 times when we got our TC).    He never really warmed up to us.   We had to be really, really sneaky the one time I got to hold him.    He did a lot of crying, and was very anxious.    With this said, before we got him forever, I thought his transition into our home would be tough.   I thought he’d have a hard time accepting us as his parents, because he was so, so attached to his foster mother, and we were these scary strangers.     Well, I was totally wrong!!!    He cried hard for about 2 hours when we first got him.    After that, he snuggled into both of us, and went along for the ride.    He was sad, and he’s still transitioning, but he is very, very attached to us.    He still snuggles, and is most relaxed in our arms.    He looks deeply into our eyes, and studies us intently.    He looks to us when he laughs.     He won’t let at least one of us get too far away from him.      I think some of this is due to his personality, and we, as parents, are a little more relaxed than when we brought Alex home.    Stefan and I also think that Michael really DID know what was happening before it actually happened.    We’re also still “cocooning” ourselves, which is helping to establish a routine.    The two adults in the house are going a little stir crazy staying home so much, but Michael is doing well with it!

Here are some photos from Days 4 and 5.    We haven’t taken any photos of days 6 and beyond….oops.

Making sure the baby gate is doing it's job.

He's finding the benefit of having a big brother---stealing big brother's toys! Golf clubs are very fun to play with--especially when you're too "young" to be walking around with a stick in your hands!

My 3 boys

Smilin for the camera. Also--notice the lack of end tables--something that went away when Alex came home, and probably won't re-appear for another few years.

He does a very cute thing---he smacks his lips together, and laughs. Of course, I have to follow, and it turns into a giggle-fest.

Michelle Here.      Things  are going very well.

Michael is adjusting to his new home, and is parents and brother amazingly well.

Here are a few things that he has done:

He still finds comfort in our holding him, and settles right into our arms.    He bonding with both Stefan and me,  and that is such a relief for us.    When one of us needs a break or gets tired, we can easily pass him between one another.

He gets anxious when we put him down, or take him out of our arms, although the duration of anxiousness is getting less and less.   He still has these periods of sadness, where we can see it in his eyes.

Starting yesterday, he has been smiling more and more.   He is starting to babble as well.    He also has been venturing out of our arms when we sit on the floor and play with him and his toys.

He loves music.    Today, I turned on a Kindermusik CD, and he immediately started smiling, and bouncing up and down.    He walked about 6 feet away from me too, which is the furthest he’s walked away so far.

Alex has now realized this reality of having a new brother, and that his mommy and daddy now divide their attention.    A few times, he’s acted in a way that we see he’s not too happy about this new situation.    Although, overall, he’s been amazingly adjusted.    I think it helped that for the last 6 months, we talked to Alex constantly about Michael, and helped him imagine what would be going on once Michael arrived, and how he fit into that.     We’ve given him “jobs” in taking care of Michael, and gave him a lot of positive reinforcement when he’s been doing something we want him to do.

Michael is walking!!    He’s at the stage now where he walks around like a drunken sailor, but he’ll be running after his brother in no time at all.

We are starting to see Michael’s  true personality.    He’s very alert, and watches us, Alex, and his overall surroundings constantly.    He is smiling much more, and we have gotten giggles from his as well.

He sleeps like a champ.    I really can’t believe it.    It’s amazing, with his adjustment to his new home, and with the time zone change how well he’s doing.    He sleeps thru the night, with one wake up for about an hour!    He’s been taking a good afternoon nap as well.     He doesn’t need a lot of comforting when putting him down to sleep either.     We lay him in his crib (we have taken one side of the crib off, and have a twin bed butted right against the crib), lay down next to him, pat his back, and he’s usually out in about 2-3 minutes.

Here are some of photos from the last 2 days!

First bath with Big Brother.

So happy to see a smile!

Here are some photos from our trip, and our first few hours home. When I look at Michael, he looks so sad….and he is. As we have expected, he will transition into his new home gradually. Alex helped coax a few smiles from Michael today.  They are currently playing on the floor together. We are having fun watching them interact.

Update as of Thursday afternoon:    Michael started smiling, laughing, and following his brother around the living room!   Yeah!    Alex is a great ice breaker to Michael’s adjustment.

Here are photos!     Sorry they are in random order, but these are photos of our first 2 days together.

We had the privilege to travel with another Adoptive Family. Our hotel rooms were close to each other. This pic was taken about an hour after we both rec'd our boys.

Holding on tight. Our first hour together.

Sleeping on the airplane

Ready for the airplane to take off

Taken in the hotel lobby, ready to head to the airport.

During our first nap together, M. held onto me the entire time while in the Ergo.

Alex showing his love for his little brother.

Our first few hours home.

Having lunch with my boys.

On the airplane--playing with our little guys.

Michelle here.

Whew!

And boy, it feels good to be home!

It’s now 9:30 am the day after we arrived in Chicago.    Our flight went really well, all things considered.    Michael is a very brave little boy.

He slept about 8 hours total of the flight (!!).   The time he was awake, he sat in our laps and looked around at everybody.    Thank the Lord.   We (ok, I) was very concerned about his stranger anxiety, and how he would take the flight.     I think the key was that he did overcome his anxiety toward US soon after we got him forever.    He now is finding comfort in our embrace, when facing all the new things around him.

When we got home, we introduced him to his new big brother.    He was very curious about Alex the entire time, and watched, and watched him.    Alex is doing amazingly well in his new role, and right now, is taking on more of a nurturing role.    He takes Michael a kleenex when his nose runs, shares (!!) his toys to occupy him, and gives him food…..many times without us asking him.     We’ll see how this all plays out, but things are good now!

Last night, he went to bed at 10 pm, slept until about 2 am, was up for an hour, and is still asleep!!!!!!!    Wow!    We are wondering if he’s taking all these changes in by sleeping…..time will tell.

We’ll update photos soon!